Rants of A Coyote

Let's walk through this one together. Hey, do you mind putting down your $6.00 Carl Jr. Burger first? Let me take a sip of my Starbucks $5.00 latte. Okay, Here we go:

Do you know how much you spend a month? No? Chances are you don't even have a basic budget to follow. Always complaining about "Those Stupid Banks" because you over drafted, again? Now I know you don't operate off a budget. Fix it, NOW.

Here, I will even help you! First off, what are the things you NEED to survive where you live? Rent, Electric, Water, Sewer, Natural Gas, Property Taxes? I will even throw in Internet for the 21st Century. Now, how about food. I mean honest to goodness food. Make it yourself with ingredients. Can't cook? That's fine, get a crock pot. It does it pretty much for you. Well worth the $30-$40. Don't like to chop stuff? Get a food processor, even a cheap one (You will do better to get one in the $100 or higher range though.)

Technically, you can eat consistently for about $50-$100 a month if you know how to bargain shop and can remember PORTION SIZES. "Oh, but I am a bigger person and need to eat more." ... Are you kidding me? BULLSHIT! To some extent you may need marginally more, but if that is the case I am guessing you are not that active either, which means... YOU ARE NOT BURNING THAT MUCH. Guess what that means... You don't need as much... Anyway. Enough about food. That is not the purpose of this rant.

Basically, a budget is a rough guideline. A budget is not static either. It is a living idea. Each month you should be reviewing your budget, making adjustments where necessary to accomplish your goals. Me Personally, I try to live to have a $200.00 float by the end of the month. What's a float you ask? A float will make those idiot banks stop over drafting you. Generally about 10-20% is good. Oh wait... that means you have to do the work to prevent it. "But my bank just wont process the transaction and I will pay cash" (Or insert similar stupid comment here). There are a few things wrong with this: Gas stations and restaurants. Gas Stations, depending on where you go, only pre-authorize for $1.00. This means your bank only sees a $1.00 charge going through until it clears. When it does clear the full amount will go through, and you will still overdraft. Same thing for restaurants and tips. Generally still, most places only Pre-Auth for the food amount. Not gratuity.

Paying for your own utilities? Turn down the heat/AC! Granted: On the extreme days it probably is not going to make much difference anyway, but each degree helps! Is it a little chilly in your place? Man (or Woman) Up and get a little throw blanket. Heating the area immediately around you is a lot more effective and a lot better on your wallet. If you are in any state of decent health, two-three throw blankets will keep you warm enough that you will probably be close to sweating. Have a little bit to spend on a small upgrade? Buy some heavy DRAPES for your windows. Chances are within a couple of months they will have paid for themselves.

"You're one to talk, with your 73 inch Television". Yeah, I have a 73 Inch Television, but it only uses slightly more power than a 100W Light Bulb... and I do not run it 24/7. Why don't we talk about how you want to have your entire house lit up with regular light bulbs so that every aspect of your house is evenly lit.

Are you pissed at me yet? No? Okay then, lets keep going. Pretty much, utilities follow the same rule: Use less, pay less. What a novel concept. Let's see what else we can apply that to: Driving? Hmm, Drive less, pay less for gasoline. Fast Food? Don't go to Wendy's, don't have to spend $$ on their "Value Menu"... AND less likely to have to spend $$ at doctor later on. Double Bonus!

Now: We have covered the basics. One thing I have not mentioned is Fun Money. Sanity Money. Etc. Budget some fun money each month. each person is different, but generally try to set aside $50 to $200 depending on income for quick "I have got to get that" moments each month. Roughly 2.5-5.0% of your income is good for these moments.

Here. Here is a sample $2000 budget.

• Income
• Source 1: $2000
• Expenses
• Charities: $200
• FLOAT: $200
• SAVINGS: $200
• Rent: $650 (Really... should only be about 1/3 TOTAL income, MAX.)
• Utilities: $250
• TV/Internet: $90
• Food: $100
• Car Insurance: $100
• Gasoline: $100
• Fun Money: $50
• Amount Unallocated (But Should Go Into Savings)
• $60

Now go save some money. Still cannot get this right? Message me. I will walk you through the process for $20.00. No, I am not an expert at this, but I will still gladly charge for my time being used.